Thursday, January 31, 2008

Jerky in the Bathroom

Jerky in the bathroom
Looks like beef
The wrapper is sealed
But do not eat.
Can I take you to the library
that's got old books
You can stand in line
To pay overdue fines.
Jerky in the bathroom
I just can't see it,
Who eats dried beef sticks
In the crapper?
Or loses interest in the
foot long tube
of salt cured cow flesh
and leaves it on the tissue, tissue, tissue...
Jerky in the bathroom
Whose damn jerky in the bathroom?
Whose damn jerky in the bathroom?
Whose damn jerky in the bathroom?

I should really apologize to the English Beat for the uneven parody. The story is that I went to the local public library and found this abandoned stick of Cowboy brand beef jerky where photographed in the men's room. Lot of room for jokes here - all of them bad.


Anonymous bamf said...

When you come across a discovery like this, it should definitely be shared. You did well with the E. Beat parody. Weird Al would be proud (jealous?).
You swung well, but did not follow through. When you come across something like this, it must not be left alone, as you presumably did. Cosmic forces bigger than our understanding compel us to elevate the offering to a stature higher than where it was when found.
For an example, see and look for the Toenail of Destiny. A random hooker's toenail became a trip talisman, leading me across the continent safely.
The jerky may well have deserved a better fate, but perhaps leaving it as it were was truly the best option, 'cause you know damn well SOMEONE eventually came along and ate it!
"And that has made all the difference"
Had it been Stripling's brand, I certainly would have.

6:57 PM  

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