Friday, May 25, 2007


When rock geeks talk about innovators like Jimi Hendrix, one of them will invariably say:"I wonder what he would be doing with all of this modern technology if he were still alive."

We know exactly what the Ramones would be doing - same chords, same songs, same attitudes, slightly different set list and we would still be going to the shows and loving it. I really miss these guys.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

American Idol vs The Gong Show

American Idol is karaoke for folks who are too lazy to go out and get drunk and see people making asses of themselves in the proper venue - a sleazy nightclub, the type that tries to stay open for more weeknights than it can afford to book real talent. I cant help but to think that the producers of this shit stain of a television show just revel in suckering people into watching these delusional bastards warble unbearable renditions of pop songs, most of which were pretty hideous in their original recordings. It is an artless and shallow show and I fear that its one positive feature is that it reminds us how low our standards have become in both popular music and television programming.

When I was a kid, people pointed to The Gong Show as a sign that American television had become a cultural wasteland. I don't know how many of those stodgy old critics are alive today but surely the ones who aren't are lucky that they missed the American Idol Bon Jovi Night.
Don't get me wrong, The Gong Show was also the entertainment equivalent of watching a train wreck but unlike American Idol there was a wide variety of appalling and questionable talent. And every once in a while, viewers got to see something truly original. Now I don't know my Dada from my MoMA, but check out this 1976 Gong Show winner:

Saturday, May 19, 2007

The youtube radio show

The latest issue of Entertainment Weekly magazine features Stephen King's list of The 24 Greatest Rock Songs Ever Made. It is a much better list than most; but I would be willing to bet that Mr. King would like to revise it as I am sure that many people have pointed out to him the glaring omission: NO RAMONES. How in the hell can you forget the Ramones? That's like forgetting the Alamo or at least the basement of the Alamo for all of you Pee-Wee fans.

So, I gots me a list. I didn't check it twice because I spent most of my time naming the list so it doesn't bite me in the ass later.

Some Cool Tunes BUT not necessarily Rocking Tunes That I Found This Morning On Youtube While Farting Around On The Internet When I Should Have Been Spending Time With My Child:

(OK, it bit me in the ass anyway... Here 'tis)

1. I don't Like Mondays by the Boomtown Rats. Cool video from 1979 features some funny MTV video era cliches in the making.

2. Right Side Of A Good Thing by The Fleshtones. When I moved to Athens Ga in the eighties, someone told me that if I went to an after-gig party when the the Fleshtones played the 40-Watt, I should avoid drinking the punch as it contained more potent substances than allowed by federal laws

3. English Rose by Paul Weller. I looked for the version by the Jam but the only clip I could find had a God-damned puppet in it instead of the group. The thing I hate about puppets this morning is that they seem to age so much better than Mr. Weller or myself.

4. Rumble by Link Wray. So simple and so cool, the way rock ought to be.

5. Could You Be The One by Husker Du. These guys should have been WAY more commercially successful. Stupid Music Industry.

6. So Lonely by the Police. This song should have gotten much more airplay on this side of the pond - and every Police song since much less. I like them but DAMN IT, HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO HEAR EVERY BREATH YOU TAKE???

7. White Lies by Jason and The Scorchers. I will never forgive mainstream American music listeners for ignoring these guys. When I think that more people have heard Toby Keith than Jason Ringenberg I feel like throwing up.

8. You Can't Put Your Arms Around A Memory by Ronnie Spector and Joey Ramone. Holy Shit, what a cool combo. Johnny Thunders would have been proud.... and fucked up on heroin.

9. Celluloid Heroes by The Kinks. Stephen King left out these guys too. This isn't one of their most rockin moments but it's a great tune for the movie fanboys.

10. Sonic Reducer by Rocket From The Tombs. Yes, I know I should have had an older Dead Boys version with Stiv singing lead but we overweight guys need to stick together so here is Dave Thomas instead. That reminds me: Kids, if you get run over by a car - see a doctor. Don't just try to walk it off. Oh and kids, here is a guitar lesson for you from Cheetah Chrome.

And just because this list goes to 11, I leave you with the evidence that Stephen King should be pounding his forehead and shouting "D'oh!!":
Pet Semetary by the Ramones.

Saturday, May 12, 2007

A nifty little magic trick

I found this video on the Amazing Randi's Site. It really illustrates why eyewitness testimony isn't as reliable as most folks might think.

Mongoloid - Then and Now

Devo is one of the greatest bands ever! I was thrilled to find a new version of this classic on the Interweb. Some things get better with age. Who would have thought in 1980 or so that these tunes would have held up so well and would have worked in such different tempos?

Monday, May 07, 2007

Hard Gay Ramen Shop

NSFA -Not Safe For Anyone:

Television is different in Japan...